As a young teen and on into adulthood I struggled with what I now refer to as my “fiction addiction”.
I generally stayed in the realm of what was classified as “Christian Fiction”. The stories were always set in some fascinating historical time period, often long ago and always far away. I would spend entire days reading, devouring book after book.
Reading had always been an escape. When I would finish a book I felt empty and listless. It was difficult to be interested in anything or anyone around me. I was still living a fictitious life with those fictitious people.
I wanted fiction over reality and so I would quickly pursue my next adventure.
This restless pursuit of fiction left me spiritually very dry.
“The readers of fiction are indulging an evil that destroys spirituality, eclipsing the beauty of the sacred page. It creates an unhealthy excitement, fevers the imagination, unfits the mind for usefulness, weans the soul from prayer and disqualifies it for any spiritual exercise.” MYP 272.2
Without realizing it, I had set up clear boundaries that God was not allowed to cross and subjects that I did not desire His opinion about.
I was making up my own rules for how to be a good Christian. I was comfortable with the ways I could enjoy the popular culture while still attending church services and serving in various capacities.
Life was rolling along; I got married, finished a BA in English, and had children. In that order.
But my husband and I hit a very bumpy patch of road. Just when everything seemed to be on the up and up we suddenly found ourselves going down, down.
In the pursuit of answers and peace, I turned to scripture for solace.
We were having serious financial difficulties and experiencing a painful spiritual awakening. The Lord was using hardship to shake me out of my spiritual lethargy and apostasy.
I began reading a lot of Sister White’s writings in conjunction with the New Testament authors and realized that I had become very comfortable with a lot of worldly practices.
One major offender was movies. Another was my choice of reading material, namely novels. The movies were fairly easy to give up. But books?
They were PART OF WHO I WAS.
I grieved DEEPLY over this apparent need to separate myself from them. I knew it was not enough to stop reading them and let my bookshelf keep its exalted place in the living room. I had to get rid of the books.
I wanted to order my life and home by the Bible and the Spirit of Prophecy.
The books had to go.
At last, I gathered the courage I needed to do the deed I dreaded. I am not exaggerating when I say it hurt on a physical level. This was the path of self-denial, the cross that I was urged to bear.
I methodically put each book into the box, taking one last look at the beautiful covers, flipping through the pages, letting the characters speak to me one last time.
Perhaps this was wrong. But I was emotional.
I truly thought I was packing up a huge part of what had made me ME for the last 20 years.
I layered the bodies of my “friends” into their cardboard casket and hauled them out to my car. My heart was broken.
This was my first surrender to Jesus Christ.
It was hard. It hurt. But He hadn’t left me comfortless. Mixed in with the memory of emptying my bookshelf is my oldest daughter. She was only 4 at the time. Making a mess of the bookshelf was her specialty and she was eager to help in the devastation.
She saw my tears and struggle. She wanted to know why I was crying and why were we putting all the books into boxes?
I explained to her that Mrs. White had counseled us to not read fiction and that if we were friends of the world than we could be no friend of God’s.
Ye adulterers and adulteresses, know ye not that the friendship of the world is enmity with God? whosoever therefore will be a friend of the world is the enemy of God. James 4:4
I explained to her that I had prayed and felt that God was asking me to get these books out of my house and life so that there would be more room for Him!
She grasped the importance of the step I was taking in obeying the voice of God and with exuberance she helped me finish the task very quickly!
The days that came after that experience surprised me.
I had a quiet and peaceful feeling in my heart that I could not deny or explain! It was truly a peace that passed all understanding!
My heart seemed to kneel quietly before the throne asking for a blessing upon my deed and it was most graciously given.
And then, unexpectedly, I heard my heart ask,
“What next Lord?”
I knew that more reformation was needed. The experience I had giving up my books left me WANTING to surrender more.
I had learned that whatever God asks us to give up, no matter how dependent we feel upon it, he gives us SO much more in return!
“He does not require them to give up anything that it would be for their best interest to retain. ” PP 599.4
Are you smothering a still, small, voice?
Take the necessary step of faith. Trust that what He gives you in exchange is more than you can ask, think, or imagine!
For more information on what Sister White says regarding fiction books please refer to EGW Messages to Young People Chapter 88.
