Have you tried to make the switch from pants to skirts only to have been dealt devastating blows from friends and family criticizing your appearance and your motives?
In this week’s post, we are going to talk about how to deal with Criticism.
Maybe no one has even verbalized it yet, but you feel it every time they look at you. There is an unspoken thought in their gaze that tells you they have plenty of doubts and questions about this new life choice of yours.
Sometimes it expresses itself as genuine concern. More often it is expressed as downright annoyance at your change of wardrobe. In the past few years, I have experienced both.
Often the reforms the Lord impresses us to make in our lives are not visible to the world around us. There are a lot of quiet ones that happen in our hearts.
But when you decide to stop wearing pants, you are going to hear about it from people.
So prepare yourself.
Thanks to social media platforms, a culture of “You have a right to hear my opinion” has formed.
People are committed to sharing their hastily formed opinions about subjects that really don’t concern them at all.
My initial foray into dress reform came to a screeching halt due to receiving criticism from a concerned person. It took several more years before I was brave enough to try again.
The good Lord was patient, and His Spirit kept calling me to make the change. I’m thankful He continued to prick my consciousness!
Looking back, if I had known how to deal with this situation, if I had been prepared to give an answer I would have grown from that experience rather than shrink back.
“But sanctify the Lord God in your hearts: and be ready always to give an answer to every man that asketh you a reason of the hope that is in you with meekness and fear.”
1Peter 3:15
When People Criticize Your Appearance
It seems so shallow but it happens. Skirts have their place in our world, but they are usually thigh high and only for fancy evening dinners, or they are for weddings and funerals.
People don’t expect you to wear them to the grocery store, on a hiking trip, or to casual gatherings.
It’s an old fashion way of dressing, women wear pants! We can vote, we can wear pants! It practically happened simultaneously!
When people disapprove of you wearing skirts because you look out of place or old fashion, my best advise is this:
OWN IT.
That’s right. Own it.
Yes, skirts seem out of place. Gently remind them that your goal is not to fit into this world culture and standards, you are preparing for a different culture, a heavenly one. In heaven, we will be given ROBES. No one will wear pants!
“After this I looked, and behold, a great multitude that no one could number, from every nation, from all tribes and peoples and languages, standing before the throne and before the Lamb, clothed in white robes, with palm branches in their hands.
‘Revelation 7:9
When they say that it’s an old fashion way of dressing, you can shock them by AGREEING with them.
Yes, skirts are from the past, but that’s a privilege. Women of the past wore skirts because they were women. That’s what women wore. And they worked harder and got more done in a day than a modern woman can dream of. And they did it in modest, womanly attire.
When People Criticize Your Motives
This one hurts the most. It’s one thing for people to write you off as dressing weird and fuddy-duddy, but when they presume to look into your heart and judge your motives it stings.
The tipping point for this kind of criticism is the question, “Do you think this is a salvational issue?”
IE: I am saved because I am wearing a skirt and you are lost because you are wearing pants.
Ouch. I hate to go here. But let’s work through it now so you are ready later.
First of all, what makes something a salvational issue?
If something is clearly expressed in scripture, something to believe, or something to put into practice, it becomes salvational.
The Lord gives us light to understand what is expected of each one of us.
And if you lack wisdom and are unsure and speficics and how to carry our the Lords will we are told to ask!
If any of you lack wisdom, let him ask of God, that giveth to all men liberally, and upbraideth not; and it shall be given him.
James 1:5
We are 100% responsible for the light that shines in our path. We are also expected to be like the Bereans and to research on any topic that is presented to us to know, “whether these things be so.” Acts 17:11
Total ignorance is the only acceptable form.
So is wearing skirts a salvational issue? It becomes one if the Holy Spirit begins work on your heart and you turn aside from your duty to search and pray over the matter.
Another question you might face is, “Does wearing a skirt save you?”
The answer to this is simple, I wear what God has instructed women to wear BECAUSE I love him and have accepted his will and his salvation. It is a result of my salvation.
Facing criticism from friends and family can be daunting. I urge you to think through your reasons, in the beginning, I was not prepared to answer for my actions. But over time I have had practice because the criticism hasn’t stopped.
Lately, I do not receive it from the people close to me anymore but have been challenged by a past employer who really was downright ANNOYED and OFFENDED by my skirts and my refusal to dress in a more revealing and culturally acceptable fashion.
Needless to say, I don’t work for this person anymore!
Pray and fill your mind with scripture. When the questions come, don’t be rattled or angry. Answer as patiently and succinctly as you are able. You will be planting seeds and urging people to think about things in a way they never have before.
Finally, have peace knowing that it is your Father in Heaven that you are seeking to please and this will inevitablyy put you at odds with worldly customs.
